Why Unarmed Mama, MD

I suppose the easiest way to explain why I chose Unarmed Mama, MD would be to break down the title’s components.

Unarmed:
I was born with a limb difference- i.e. my right arm stops right below my elbow. I’ve had a prosthetic since I was 6 months old and when I would refuse to wear it growing up, my parents would frequently remark that I was unarmed that day. If you had known me prior to age 17 when I had the life changing experience of being a member of the US Paralympic swim team, you would have mainly seen me “armed”. After that time (aka the second half of my life thus far), you would generally have known me to be “unarmed.” Currently, I believe there are three arms in my closet that only make an appearance if I’m riding my bike (last time I tried to do that unarmed, I wound up in urgent care getting my left elbow x-rayed…). I still have my first arm stored somewhere as well, which my parents kept like many parents keep their baby’s first shoes or lock of hair (I used to take it for show and tell when I was in grade school).

Unarmed also refers to the way in which I hope to communicate through this blog: unfiltered, honest, and sometimes stream of consciousness. My goal is to write without my performance brain, inner critic or inner child (who is insatiably desperate for approval) from censoring the content. Be prepared for some arm jokes, some profound discoveries and occasionally a rant or two.

Mama:
This one is fairly self explanatory. I have a beautiful son who never cease to amaze me while simultaneously testing every ounce of parenting knowledge and skill I have. Raising him has been my most challenging task to date, but totally worth it (most days- I just promised to be real in the last paragraph, after all)! He nearly killed me when he was born (wish this part was a joke, but unfortunately it is not) and the interventions required to prevent my husband from becoming a single parent scarred half the real estate in my uterus, so he will likely remain my only biological child.

MD:
Another fairly self explanatory component, but I’ll give you a little more context. After my short stint at athletic success, I decided to retreat back to my comfort zone: compulsive academic overachievement (apparently what I was missing in limb, I was determined to make up for in grades and test scores). I briefly flirted with becoming a pharmacist when I panicked that my arm would make being a physician too difficult, but ultimately ended up where I had told people I would since I was 4: in medical school. The compulsive overachieving didn’t end there. Once I graduated, I trained in not one, not two, but THREE specialties (Pediatrics, Psychiatry, and Child & Adolescent Psychiatry). If just reading this paragraph makes you feel exhausted, then you likely see why I need the whole “slow down, step back and work to integrate” stage I’m currently (trying to be) in.

Why a blog:
Well, if I had a dollar for every time someone in my life told me I should write a book after regaling them with one of my “arm” stories, I wouldn’t have to worry about whether my insurance covers the type of prosthetic I use on the rare instance I’m “armed”. However, that’s not the case and, frankly, a book sounds too overwhelming at the moment as I attempt to integrate the various parts of myself and still show up on a daily basis for my friends, colleagues, and patients. So for now, while I’m more short handed (pun intended) than usual, this blog will have to suffice.